can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
