Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
