your room smells of hookers.
And success
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
