just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
...so i touched it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
