I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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