so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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