I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
