is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
