How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize