I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
