the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
