I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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