i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
