everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
