I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
