Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
