I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
