my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
