Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
