It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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