He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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