Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
id be glad to
her vagine was all disorganized.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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