Kiss
Puke
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
