You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That's when you crack a 10am beer
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
