The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
