i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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