shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
