i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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