his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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