she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am spending my child support on dildos
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
