just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
