with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
