I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
