UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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