How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
