There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
