I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
