I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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