i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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