I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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