i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
