he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
How drunk are you?
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