So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We need to get me chipped asap
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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