I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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