I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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