matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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