Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
