birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
