I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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