Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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