Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
