I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize