the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Small penises have feelings too.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
