I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
