'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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