it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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