Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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