glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
