I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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