I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
