dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Green mimosas i think yes
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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