you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
