I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
