I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
